Sunday, June 28, 2009

兩週一聚 (十七期) 「生命中的巧合」之【風塵女子】 / 2weeks1gather (#17): 「Life is a fluke」【Fille de Dieu, Belle de Nuit】

前言: 我数年前來渥太華的時候,入息有限,銀両短缺,於是和一群二十多歲的男女自組居住合作社 housing coop,在市中合租了一間有客廳丶廚房丶飯廳丶和六個睡房的大「柏文」 apartment。這篇網誌是有關其中一位女同屋的半虛半實故事。(Disclaimer: I would like to emphasize again that my blog stories are just stories and that characters, places and events must not be taken seriously as 100% "real" or "factual".)

Fluke: 名詞1.(撞球)僥倖的擊中。2.幸運,僥倖成功。
Life is a fluke: 生命中的巧合, 僥倖擊中, 僥倖成功。

露漪絲(譯音)是法裔加拿大人,我們相識之時她大約是25歲,她生世在一個典型的天主教大家庭,還未滿18歲就放棄了升學机会,投身入大染缸,找了一份寫字楼秘書職位賺錢。露漪絲心地善良,对合伙一事很有責任感,人氣亦好,常和同屋嘻哈玩笑,但在私人生活方面,她卻是全屋最「開放」大胆的一位。每逢TGIF週末,她会花枝招展地穿上低胸露背的跳舞衣裳,套上那三吋的Stilettos,和她的死黨女友往酒吧「獵男」, 第二天早上,我多会在廚房遇到一個蓬頭散髪的陌生男人,不是Pierre就是Jacques, 或Yves....,雖然有時候我覺得对方面善,但也不敢乱打招呼,因為實不敢肯定那是她的新欢丶還是舊愛。

『Occupez-vous de vos affaires !!』她会裝半嗔地用法語還我一句。

当然,我們都是成年人,出外社交是個人自由,但她亦明白,讓酒吧的「一夜情」one-night stand男人在屋內留宿,除了令其她女同屋不方便之外(我們只有一個公用浴室),多少也帶有個人和公众安全的冒險性。



『但是露漪絲,如果生命全是巧合,發生和後果全是「不經人手」,那么為什么有些神父会說: God helps those who help themselves? 』我嘗試以宗教的方程式來指出她邏輯上的衝突。

她聽後不發一言, 淚眼汪汪,而我也不想太過份去奪她的自尊心,拆毀她的護城河。


*** Update ***

我原本是不打算寫續集,但有網友想知道露漪絲下場如何,這點我是畧知一二,故此在7月9日續寫【風塵女子】的下集,好讓我对各位讀者有一個交代。 這往參閱:

兩週一聚 (十七期) 「生命中的巧合」之【風塵女子】(續集) / 2weeks1gather (#17): 「Life is a fluke」【Fille de Dieu, Belle de Nuit】(Part 2/2)


* 一夜情

Related Links:
* 第十七期的題目 : 寫「生命中的巧合」 ! 請到 Humptidumpti處報名。
* 請往 參閱其它文章。

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Jon and Kate plus 8: 十年的婚姻 / Jon & Kate Plus 8: Ten Years of Marriage

After "sharing" five years of family life in front of the camera, the ten-year marriage of reality-show couple Jon and Kate was officially dissolved in Philadelphia. The somewhat surprise but not exactly unexpected announcement was made at the June 22, 2009 show. As mentioned in my previous blog, I was one of the 10 million viewers of the 2009 season premier of "Jon and Kate plus 8". Unlike Jim Carrey's character in "The Truman Show", there was no new-found reality and freedom behind the torn silver screen, and the crowd in the diner did not cheer. Here are some of Jon and Kate's statements which were made separately in the recording studio.

"We have soldiers over in Iraq, dying for our country, and all these people (paparazzi/journalists) care about is what I eat for lunch."
"When you're living a roller-coaster, sometimes you come off the tracks."
"It's just not good for our kids (for us) to be arguing in front of our kids. If we can't be cordial with one another then we've decided to separate."
"I don't hate Kate but, you know, I have to do what's best for me and my kids."

"Jon has a lot of anger and I'd like him to discuss, but he won't discuss it with me."
"Every now and then he holds a couple of minute conversation and I get a window into his world and that's all."
"I don't really wanna be alone. I don't wanna do this alone."
"Am I thrilled with how things have turned out? No. Did I ever think I'd be in this situation with the way things have turned out? No."
"I had half a day when I let myself fall apart and hyperventilate and sob harder than I've ever sobbed in my life. But by the time I woke up the next morning . . . I had decided, I just need relief now. I need to turn the page."
"I have become very hardened, very crass, very jaded maybe, but that is my survival self saying I will not lay down and die. . . . If I've got to pull this whole ship on my own, I'll do it. I will survive, and they (the kids) will survive."
"It doesn't matter where Jon and I are in our relationship, my kids still matter most to me."
"I love my kids."

(They will have their say when they grow up)

Photo Credit 攝影相片 (Rogers Yahoo News): Happier time of Jon and Kate who renewed their marriage vow 婚姻許諾 in front of their kids and relatives in Hawaii last year.


My other related articles:
* 「兩週一聚 (十五): 五年之後 ...」之【八卦文章】/ 「2weeks1gather (#15): Five Years Later ...」【The Five-year Commitments of Jon & Kate Plus 8】

* 再談男女關係之間的許諾 / More Thoughts on Commitments in a Man-Woman Relationship

* "Jon and Kate Plus 8"

Monday, June 22, 2009

山徑人生 / Find My Own Track

June 23 2009 Update: 請往下列網誌參閱更多的攝影相片和資料

* 義大利地中海內利巴里島:南岸 / Italy's Lipari Island in the Mediterranean Sea: South Coast

* 義大利地中海內利巴里島 / Italy's Lipari Island in the Mediterranean Sea

Friday, June 19, 2009

健身男追女仔手册 / Gym-Jam Guy's Guide to Impress Women


1. Suck in belly, always.

2. Make it a habit of walking with your shoulders and arms sticking out as if your upper-body muscles are really bulky (this trick is from Dilbert, the cartoon character).

3. "Flesh and Flash": Wear form-fitting Spandex outfit to show off your 3 or 6-packs and flaunt your best muscle groups (only if you have it). Never eat or drink too much before a gym session cuz your belly will stick out (which is not cool).

4. If you cannot see below your belly button when standing up, forget abt Spandex and wear a size extra large T-shirt. Consider new hi-tech, shape-enhancement garments for men (used to call corsettes for women).

5. Walk around in the weight room with a thick worn-out leather belt, and carry the biggest chain you can find from the hardware store. But of courser, you will never use it to do the dips with the chain tying onto 45+ pounds weights.

6. Give compliments and weight-training advice to asthenic women with gazelle eyes and houri-form. Avoid Athena or her followers. Show your literary prowess and impress your new female acquaintance by quoting from Charlotte Brontë's "Jane Eyre" circa 1850 "I would not exchange this (one little English) girl for the Grand Turk's whole seraglio, gazelle eyes, houri-forms and all!" Say you like woman writers, but don't mention you read the soft-porns written by Anne Rice even tho she was the famous authour of "Interview with the Vampire" and other Vampire Chronicles stories and is now a born-again Christian. (Are you impressed yet?)

7. Avoid at all cost, the following opening lines: "Come here often?" "Didn't I see you somewhere before?" "Gees, you have beautiful eyes!" "Do you read lips?" "Do you know the word voluptuous comes from the Latin word "voluptuōsa"?" etc.

8. If you cannot find something original, or if you are a babbler, remember this advice from an older, hmm, I mean a more matured and experienced woman: "You are handsome with your mouth shut". The other good line is "Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman." But, that's another story for another day.

9. Wear Iron Man or Ultra-marathon T-shirts as if you were a finisher. Muay Thai kick-boxing or Ultimate Fighter T-shirts are cool too.

10. Pretend to admire yourself in the mirror while actually you are checking whether your T-shirt is worn inside out (not cool).

11. Give the sweaty look by spraying water on forehead and arms (that way you won't smell like a man's locker room),

12. Project power to your secret admirer(s) by grunting loudly and then dropping bar-bells, weights and all on the floor with a big bang.

13. Don't touch the Cosmopolitan magazine even tho you are dying to read the featured article "10 Best Turn-on's for Women". Instead, go for the manly man magazine such as "GQ", "Chill", "Security", and "Sports Illustrated" (but not the "Swim Wear" edition please, not cool).

14. Avoid tattoo on visible parts of your body with the word "Mom", any unknown Chinese word(s) suggested by a restaurant bus-boy, or your ex-girl friend's name. Barb-wire around the bicep is cool.

15. Avoid eye-contact with pot-belly mules (esp if you are one yourself) and point to your i-pod when they want to chat. Ask yourself: Will she see two Clydesdales having a serious talk, or more realistically two sumo wrestlers bumping bellies.

16. Trash talk: It is all right to talk trash with young bucks on topics such as best protein powder and the latest abt the ultimate fighters in the "Octagon" ring. I mean youthful talk is cool, esp if you are no longer a youth.

17. When nobody is watching, jerk the heavy weights with your waist and let it bounce to cheat. But don't do it too often or you will ruin your back (price of cheating) and lose face in front of the opposite sex.

18. Sip coloured sport-drinks (such as Red Bull) from its original container. Bottled water is more for the steps and yoga crowd, not tough brute like you.

19. When bending over to take a sip from the fountain, suck in your guts.

20. When you go swimming, leave your Speedo at home unless your name is David Beckham or Michael Phelps. Recite multiplication table 唸乘數表 when scantily dressed women make you lose control. Distract yourself by imagining that you are Popeye who will save Olive Oyl from Bluto. Come to think of it, maybe you are Bluto. Grunt !!

Photo Credit 攝影图片: Wikipedia - Popeye, Olive Oyl and Bluto 【大力水手】 (Source:

* Athena: 【希臘神話】强壯無懼的雅典娜 - 智慧、技術、學問、戰爭的女神。
* Clydesdales: 強健的拖車馬 - 源出蘇格蘭 Clyde 地方所產名馬。
Jane Eyre: by Charlotte Brontë - 1850
"I would not exchange this one little English girl for the Grand Turk's whole seraglio, gazelle eyes, houri-forms and all!" (Source: Wikipedia -
* Voluptuous: Latin
voluptuosus (“‘delightful’”), from volup (“‘with pleasure’”).
* Anne Rice aka A.N. Roquelaure: Wikipedia (Source:

Thursday, June 18, 2009

碧瑤草綠 / Summer Song



Monday, June 15, 2009

【一件小事之初吻】寫後有感 / "No Big Deal - The First Kiss" Postscript



滿紙荒唐言, 一把辛酸淚;
都云作者癡, 誰解其中味。


吻如寶玉淚, 情似楓葉霜;
六月無小事, 暮冬莫感懷。



兩週一聚(十六): 一件小事 之【初吻】/ 2weeks1gather (#16): "No Big Deal"【First Kiss】

对"點先算環保"的想法 / My Comments to "點先算環保" by Humptidumpti

I read with interest the article entitled "點先算環保" written by Humptidumpti and would like to stimulate discussions by sharing with you my comments posted there:

I am taking the liberty to submit my view points:

(1) There is a difference btwn methane CH4 and nitrogen oxides NOx. Grass-eating cattle/sheep and bean-eating human may produce methane, but not NOx.

(2) During economic downturn, Canadian forest companies cannot decide unilaterally to use the land for say mixing cement or other industrial purposes. Land-use is stipulated by land permits issued by local regulators. As well, if there is a major change in land use, the Environmental Assessment (EA) regulations may apply.

(3) The threat to the world’s rain forests comes not just from the forest sector. Some mining operators will build roads deep into the forests, cut down trees, and pollute the land and water to mine gold and other metals and minerals when the price is right e.g. mining of gold in Brazil and blood diamond in Africa.

(4) I agree with you that the homo sapiens species has been destructive. But population control is not the main solution to environmental protection, changing people’s thinking and behaviour is. For example: Even with a population decline in the western world, our consumption-based economy will continue to have significant negative impact on the environment and health of people around the world. And, China being the factory of the world, is currently pumping out both pollution and products to satisfy demands.

(5) The mercury problem with the energy-saving lamps is a technological one and can be solved technologically. But that single problem should not create a knee-jerk reaction and change our underlying principle/belief of not wasting energy.



Please go visit "點先算環保" at:

Sunday, June 14, 2009

加都的一個雪櫃 / A Fridge in the NCR, Canada

(1) 日常基本: 牛奶, 疍, 橙汁, 生果, 肉類, 麵飽, ...
(2) 因為加拿大首都區National Capital Region(NCR)跨越渥太華河,區內安大畧Ontario和魁北克Québec兩個省份的居民大都能操英丶法兩個官方語言,都明白食物包裝上的双語標簽label.
(3) 一瓶瓶的調味品丶果醬、茄汁、麻油、生/老抽丶牛油丶等等都放在雪櫃門。
(4) 另有一食物冰箱freezer是放在地下室 basement。

攝影圖片擴大: Click View/Zoom

June 15th Update/Clarifications: (a) Food labelling regulations apply nationally and not just the NCR. (b) The municipalities on both sides of the Ottawa River in the NCR are under the jurisdictions of Ontario and Quebec and not the federal government (with the exceptions of parks, lands, & operations under the authorities of the National Capital Commission and/or the Crown). Thank you Space!!


My previous comments:

June 1 2009:
Oh mine !! My fridge is covered with outdated “to-do” lists, travel photos, medical appointment reminders, grocery shopping lists, …
My fride is CONTROL CENTRAL !! Too bad I cannot carry it around like a BlackBerry !!!

June 3, 2009:
Oh, you want to see the inside too. Let’s take stock by food-groups:
* Dairy and grain: Partly skimmed milk (2% milk fat); french vanilla-flavoured yogurt (1% MF); butter; all kinds of cheese; nan bread; …
* Meat and fish: A dozen eggs (Omega-3); Atlantic sole filet (on-sale CAD$15 a kilo); pork tenderloin (with spiced bread-crump stuffing); …
* Veggies and fruit: strawberries (from Mexico); asparagus (bunch, on-sale); OJ with calcium; …
* Miscellaneous: Over 30 jars and bottles of soya sauce, pickles, jam, ….. you name it.



本月專題換了一個花款,投稿人請拍一張相片(1MB 以下),主題是「我家的冰箱」(My fridge). 請附上不超過一百字的圖片說明。投稿請寄「兩周一聚」電郵信箱。截稿日期:6月21日。

Saturday, June 13, 2009

兩週一聚(十六): 一件小事 之【初吻】下集 / 2weeks1gather (#16): "No Big Deal"【First Kiss】(Part 2/2)



『喂,你有無沒有聽到我在商業电臺「Saturday Requests」點唱給你那首“Evergreen Tree ”呀?』Louisa 劈頭第一句就問。

『当然有啦!』我笑著重複節目主持人Mike讀出他收到的requesters點唱名單:『This song is dedicated from Louisa to Amanda, Victor, William, Simon, Margaret, .... 』


在新潮青年自我陶醉的世界中,韓戰丶越戰丶冷戰丶核戰是身外事,最重要是自己在requesters點唱榜上有名,保持(昔年low tech Face Book)人氣指数。






我不知道当年為什么不能率直地說出真話,是害怕傷了她的心,還是自私地計劃自己的前途。過了來加拿大之後,我給她的信是愈來愈少,愈來愈淡了。友人Amanda來信說Louisa在香港以眼淚洗面,罵我這個薄倖郎傷透了舊情人Evergreen Tree的心,我回答:『男兒志大四方,男女之情,份屬小事!!!』之後,她們和我斷絕了書信來往。




攝影圖片 Photo: Vive le grillon du foyer libre !!! 自由的蟋蟀!!

June 15th Update: 也請看【一件小事之初吻】寫後有感 / "No Big Deal - The First Kiss" Postscript

References / links:

1. 今期兩周一聚(十六)題目是「一件小事」,由Sherry出: “..... 自從踏進三十歲以後,腦中常不斷浮起一些小得不能再小的往事,平時是不會記起的,但是某一刻,它又會像電影一樣在你腦海中播放一次。不一定要寫自己的事,總之就是一件小事,你想分享的,或是你創作的也行!歡迎各位報名參加!.....” (

2. 回应: "我也報名來C9茶亭, 開壺雀舌茶, 談一件小事。自嘲曰: 兩週一聚, 老漢識途, 雀舌茶葉, 小啼大做。"
3. 請往這処閱讀其它文章佳作: 2weeks1gather official website:
4. 網友imak 地址:

Thursday, June 11, 2009

兩週一聚(十六): 一件小事 之【初吻】上集 / 2weeks1gather (#16): "No Big Deal"【First Kiss】(Part 1/2)

前言: 以下故事是真是假,是否有事實根據,我是讓讀者决定。我在故事人物丶時間丶地點方面都是畧有更改,如有巧合之处,請留言通知。


初春是香港潮濕多霧的季節,我在天星小輪Star Ferry 附近 買了一包「雲絲頓」,點了口煙,冒著微微細雨跑往大會堂楼上,凖備与 Louisa 溫習功課。我家是在東區10号巴士總站的簾租屋邨,但學校卻是在西營盤正街再過的西邊街,所以放學後我多往中環的大会堂圖書館讀書室,享受免費冷氣和一兩小時的清靜。我在那裏結識了一班同齡的年青朋友,Louisa 是中學群中的一個女生,其她還有Rosaline, Novina, Amanda 等。



Monday, June 08, 2009



各位看官,須知我們在西方城市長大或居住多年軟心腸的人(bleeding hearts),大都已「放下屠刀,立地成佛」,吃的都是超級市場買來的包裝食品, 可以詐作不知肉類是從屠房動物而來。這和加拿大總督Michaëlle Jean 莊美楷五月廿五日在北極吃生珍海錯,freshly killed seal heart 的情形大有分別!! 我們城市人,不知者不罪嘛!! (Say this with an innocent look and a shrug)

如我記憶不錯,上一次殺生(昆蟲丶冷血動物除外)是在中學時代,父親在厨房交給我一把鋒利的菜刀,叫我宰殺那双腳被縛,撲翼掙扎的生雞,刎割雞喉之後要放血入碗(勿忘加鹽),之後燒開水,脫鷄毛..., 血淋淋的事實。


Friday, June 05, 2009


六月四日經過唐人亍市場, 看到生猛龍蝦標價大約是$13-14加元一公斤,巨無霸型的有超過5kg重,身體連鉗子計有手臂長,小的蝦孫也起碼有半公斤,我饞嘴起來,興高采烈買了一隻2kg左右的單鉗龍蝦,帶了它回家之後,才記得我对蝦蟹是畧有敏感。Oooops !!!


叫「獨臂」的龍蝦雖然性命難保,但我仍不想令它受不必要的折磨,所以我沒有用筷子插進它的尾部放「蝦尿」 (C'mon, I mean which animals would not pee in their pants with a blunt object up the 'yin yang' ?? Ouuuch!!), 但我仍是要用水煮它,那么是用慢火還是猛火煮才算人道? 我浸那半死的「獨臂」入冷水煲,趕忙上網查詢「人道毀滅」龍蝦方法。

根據「維基百科」: "... The most common way of killing a lobster is by placing it, live, in boiling water, or by splitting: severing the body in half, lengthwise (唉!痛苦!!) . The boiling method (also used to kill crabs, crayfish and shrimp) is controversial because some believe that the lobster suffers. The practice is illegal in some places, such as Reggio Emilia, Italy, where offenders face fines of up to €495. (嘩!重貴過落後國家一條人命!!) The Norwegian study states that the lobster may be de-sensitized by placing it in a salt solution 15 minutes before killing it. (龍蝦變了鹹魚?) In 2006, British inventor Simon Buckhaven invented the CrustaStun, which electrocutes lobsters with a 110 V electric shock, killing them in five seconds. This ensures a quicker death for the lobster. (小心! Simon 他一定是龍蝦投胎來報仇,叫人玩濕電?!!)

我在網上猶豫不决,「獨臂」爪在煲內刮過不停。在這難於取捨之際,我硬起心腸,把爐頭開至最猛最盡 ........

(下續 to be continued)


Reference: "Lobster" 「維基百科」Wikipedia /

Thursday, June 04, 2009

「海巿蜃楼」与「沙漠綠州」 / Mirages and Oases

When I was in North Africa, I really wanted to visit the desert. I was told the vast sea of sand can be very inhospitable and would destroy those who dare to venture in unprepared. And yet, despite the harsh conditions, nomad peoples have roamed the desert, survive and thrive there for thousands of years.

I was also told that in the desert, on could see mirages, the meaning of which is 「海巿蜃楼」in Chinese - an illusion, something unattainable. But I am not so sure if mirages are that unreal and people chasing them are fools. While 「海巿蜃楼」seem far away and often disappear as one gets closer, they reflect none-the-less what people desire, a beautiful home, a grand hotel, or perhaps an oasis.

The desert is beautiful but she needs people to appreciate her beauty, for beauty is in the eyes of the beholders. To people chasing mirages: Oases might take time to build in a desert, but they are real, can be done, and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise.

Photo: I took this pic from the roof-top of the riad I was staying in during my trip to Morocco.

Related links:
* 「兩週一聚: 色彩」之【摩洛哥】 / 「Bi-weekly Series: Colour」【Morocco】
* 旅遊摩洛哥: 一些心得丶意見丶資料 / Travel to Morocco: Some experience, suggestions, and information

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

攝影皆作: 伏都柔魂 / Photo Story: Voodoo Apparition

(接上回: 【攝影皆作: 女人的背影 / Photo Story: Woman Entering a Voodoo House】





『嗯 ...!』她還是沒有回答我,虛弱的身體似乎仍在飄浮著,一会兒坐在地上,一会兒坐在椅上。

我突然感到一陣寒意,心中捲起無名的恐懼,頸後的頭髪一枝枝直豎起來。『媽呀!我不会是白日見鬼罷!』在驚慌惶乩中,我颤抖祈求: 『歴代祖宗,饒恕我這個不肖子孫,給我一線生机呀!』。在那一剎那間,陽光從門縫透入來,我怱怱拿著相机,頭也不回,半跑半跌地離開那伏都女巫的住所。在紐奧連斯溫暖烈日之下,我的額角流下了豆子般大的冷汗。

攝影圖片 Photo (一): 令人不寒而栗的伏都木偶像: 『天堂有路你不走,地獄無門闖進來!』..... 媽呀!!!!

攝影圖片 Photo (二): 廟內其中一個祭壇,碗內可能是祭物,女巫留言指示怎樣許願下咒: "To make a wish, rub statue daily in a clockwise direction, tap 3 times ...."

攝影圖片 Photo (三): 獻臺上有很多美鈔,有錢使得鬼推磨嘛!。

攝影圖片 Photo (四): 她可不是那白衣女人的化身罷!?

攝影圖片 Photo (五): 『嗯!』如果穿藍白花裙的女人是伏都教廟宇的 "Gate Keeper",我会很有禮貌地回答說: 『鎖妳,但我不是妳尋求的 "Key Maker",拜拜!』

攝影圖片 Photo (六): 『嗯...!』為了替她保護私隱,我用手筆加上一些遮掩面部的秀髪,但我是不会忘記那双幽幽的怨眼!!

Related Info:

1. 伏都教許願下咒例子: (Source: "Louisiana Voodoo" Wikipedia

* If a woman wants her husband to stay away from other woman, she can do so by putting a little of her blood in his coffee, and he will never quit her.
* If a woman's husband dies and you don't want her to marry again, cut all of her husband's shoes all in little pieces, just as soon as he is dead, and she will never marry again.
* You can give someone a headache by taking and turning their picture upside down.
* You can harm a person in whatever way you want to by getting a lock of his hair and burning some and throwing the rest away.

2. 伏都教(Source: 維基百科


Tuesday, June 02, 2009

加拿大最正直和有名譽的財務顧問 / The Right Honourable Financial Adviser of Canada

On June 1, 2009 shortly after GM filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in the US, the Premier of Ontario and the Prime Minister of Canada held a news conference.

"The decision announced today is regrettable but necessary," said the PM referring to Canada's 9.5 billion US contribution to General Motor's restructuring. As to whether taxpayers will ever get their money back, Mr. Harper was up-front and told Canadians that we should not expect anything in return for our investment.

Well, at least he is being more honest and honourable than a lot of the financial advisers on Wall Street.

(Photo Credit 攝影图片: Wikipedia 現任加拿大總理史蒂芬•哈珀 The Right Honourable Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada)
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