愛情與人生 / Love and Life

我在讀大學時被愛情困纏,真是欲生欲死,做有很多自毀的事情,但在眼淚濛濛之中,我仍是有一個求生的念頭,知道時間是可以冲淡痛苦,知道風雨之後是有天明,知道我的知識和經歷,是可以幫助很多沒有机会入學的人。我不是聖人(Mother Theresa),但我知道我在這世上的用処(usefulness)是超越我自私和用事的感情。現在回想,我很幸運当年沒有放棄一切,時間的確是把我磨煉得更堅強和成熟,在這悠長的人生旅途中,我也實在幫助了很多人,也開創了自己的事業,再次投入新戀情,旅遊世界,享受了很多欢樂的時光。人生是多瓣和多片面的(life is multifaceted),愛情只是其中一部份,請不要為一小部而放棄了全部。

(以上是最近在網友「古思哲」処的留言感想)

送行 / Send-Off

上星期机構的同事主管,在總部舉行送行儀式,boardroom內擠滿了人,除了我自己部門熟識的人之外,其他在工作上有聯絡的外界partners 和stakeholders也有出席,最令我感動的是有一些已退了休的上司和僱員,聽到我離職的消息,也特別回來机構,送我一行。其實我也曾多次替他人送行,不過這一次是自己在「水銀燈」下,感覺也就不同。正是:『勸君更盡一杯酒,西出陽關無故人。』

滿地可(蒙特婁理工學院)大屠殺 / Tuerie de l'école polytechnique de Montréal / Montreal Massacre at Ecole Polytechnique

十八年前,在一九八九年十二月六日,加拿大滿地可14名工程部女學生被狂漢 Marc Lépine (né Gamil Gharbi) 在校園槍殺,記憶猶新丶猶駭!!! 十八年後,全國下半旗及靜默一分鐘紀念。她們在生時還是那么年輕,未死之前,瞳孔是充滿著美好的希望丶職業丶和前途。

Geneviève Bergeron (n. 1968)
Hélène Colgan (n. 1966)
Nathalie Croteau (n. 1966)
Barbara Daigneault (n. 1967)
Anne-Marie Edward (n. 1968)
Maud Haviernick (n. 1960)
Maryse Laganière (n. 1964)
Maryse Leclair (n. 1966)
Anne-Marie Lemay (n. 1967)
Sonia Pelletier (n. 1961)
Michèle Richard (n. 1968)
Annie St-Arneault (n. 1966)
Annie Turcotte (n. 1969)
Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz (n. 1958)

(攝影图片 / Photo Credit: Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%89cole_Polytechnique_massacre)

開懷集 / Raising Fund (Fun)

1. Skeptics Society: "... Please be reassured that this is a real newsletter from your Society requesting your financial support. All donations must be in real money. On second thought, we will accept only certified cheques."

2. Poor People United: "... Your donation will help fight poverty around the world. We will inform you of where to send money once we have sufficient fund to re-activate the rental mailbox."

3. Anarchy Americana: "... Our proposed governance structure with the Regional Director of Branch 3A reporting to the National Executives will ensure all authorities, roles and responsibilities are clear to everyone. Please mail your vote as well as your membership renewal fee by end of this month."

4. Magic-Cure-All: "... According to Mrs. Smith, despite her husband's failing health, he spent his dying years perfecting this cure-all drug that will prolong life as we know it. Please send your donation to Doctor Smith's Memorial Fund, attention Mrs. Smith."

5. Brooklyn Bridge for Sale: I have some prime land in Florida as well. Please send your inquiry, I mean enquiry, to this blog.

(版權所有,隨便翻印)

「黑莓」手机 / BlackBerry Handheld Device

在最近六至七年間,我和「黑莓」手机可說是形影不離,每天早上七時「黑莓」自動開机,我喝早茶時瀏覽和分析各地來的电子郵件,看看行事曆,之後才出門上班。在寫字楼內做工多靠电腦电話,但出外開会則靠「黑莓」手机,以便和員工通訊。下班後回到家裡,臨睡之前,又再收發電郵,和時區不同的机構同事,或其它有關人仕聯絡,管理和計劃未來事項。

無可否認,有了手机,朝九晚五可以變成24/7,週末也会成為工作時間表的一部份,所以有很多擁有「黑莓」的同事,承認是上了不能自拔的"crackberry"「莓」毒癮,在工作踏車mouse treadmills上跑到面紅耳熱,還是不能停下來。

「黑莓」手机和我將会在月尾分手,手机雖然是死物inanimate object,但個人和机器双位一体這么多年, 分手時總有點悵然的感覺,就像監犯重獲自由之前,对那多年的獄室,仍是有點留戀。

攝影图片:「黑莓」與黑莓之間的快擇 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

大衛柯能堡之【巨塔殺机】: 鉄石心腸 / David Cronenberg's "Eastern Promises": Hard Men and Women

(Photo Credit: 大衛柯能堡之【巨塔殺机】 / David Cronenberg's "Eastern Promises"; 維果莫天森 Viggo Mortensen; 娜歐蜜華茲 Naomi Watts; 文森卡索 Vincent Cassel)

You recognize the type when you get to know them - angular face (over a round one), tight lips, calculating minds, and a half-smile that seems to telepath "We can be friends, but don't ever screw around with me." Actually those are the softer ones among the hardest - at least they telepath !!

Don't get me wrong. I have known lots of good people in my life and I expect to meet more during my journey. But, the presence of hard men and women does not escape our notice in the movie "Eastern Promises" directed by David Cronenberg. They are like ghosts among the living, always lurking in the background; like razors in the cold wind, sharp and feelingless.

So, how do they become hard men and women? Is there a genetic disposition to becoming one - cold blood that runs through hot veins? Or should they blame it on their upbringing, perhaps by parents who did not cuddle their children or show affection in public? Or by society that weeds out the kind-hearted and rewards the hardened survivors?

I don't have an answer; and I did not get one from David Cronenberg.

過渡時期 / Transition Period

(Transition = 從一個階段過渡到另一個階段)

Yesterday, I chaired for the last time the taskforce that I have been leading. People still couldn't believe I am leaving and those who heard the news for the first time were floored. I am not particularly sad to leave. Maybe my emotion hasn't erupted yet. Sure, I will miss many of my co-workers and the files (in that order), but my departure is of my own choice, something that I have planned for quite a while. December is going to be a busy month for me. There will be documents to shred, paper to throw out, and files to give away. My co-workers are organizing a farewell party for me at the beginning of next month. There will be office Christmas parties before people go on vacations and before I close up shop for good.

My routine in the months to come will change. So, instead of rushing to work in the morning, I might be enjoying a cup of tea, reading the morning newspaper, and contemplating the state of national and world affairs. There will be time to do exercise during non-rush hours. Already, I have started my cross-country and alpine skiing season last weekend, having bought myself a day pass to the park.

Transition is from one stage to another 從一個階段過渡到另一個階段. I will find my own way as the months unfold.

人生與事業 / Life and Career

我已正式向机構上層提出辭呈,在2008年初讓位於賢。很多朋友同事在电網上看了這個宣佈,都大為震驚,很多人說:『看您這么年青,為什么要辭退這份管理好職位?』加拿大西部的區首,從溫哥華來急电說:『我上星期和您在多倫多開会,您還未有談及退職,這事從何說起?』

在管理階層中,我發覺有很多事業心太重的人,他∕她們在不知不覺中,做了工作職務的奴隸,曾經有一段時期,我也是那樣子,一天24小時,睡眠5小時,其它就是忙這忙那,分身不暇。但自從波士M突然腦癌逝世,和秘書H車禍橫死之後, 我对人生與事業,就有一個很清楚的概念,就是不会把事業替代人生。

沒錯,每一個人都需要入息來支持生計,也要对社会有所貢獻,但我对入息需求不大,知足者常樂,而对社会貢獻,覺得除了做工外,亦可以有很多種形式,不一定要在公司僱員的關係下發展。所以我在未來歲月,不会隨便浪費金錢,更加不会浪費光陰,要把人生計劃實踐。

波士和秘書離去已有多年,但他∕她們年輕的面孔,卻永遠不会在我腦海中忘掉,我為這兩位同事,暗自不知流了多少眼淚,一方面是我对他∕她們一份隱藏的友情,未能完全表達,而另一方面,是感嘆人生過程的短暫和無常,我們大家都像在候机室中,留一会兒就要告別的旅途人,他∕她們已提早告別,而我自己這段新的人生旅途,卻還是剛剛開始。

(Photo taken by myself in Rome earlier this year)

初雪 / First Snow

昨晚在我睡夢中,冰冷的秋雨轉變為飄雪,今早醒來,往窗外一看,出面是白茫茫的一片。每年的初雪都給我帶來一個更生丶喜悅的感覺,就像新學生上第一課,手指觸摸那新的校服和書籍,或像孩提時隨父母搬入新屋,嗅到剛完成的裝修油漆氣味,或是在午夜街燈之下,接第一個初吻,大家相近短促的呼吸,軟軟的胸脯在一起一伏。初雪在陽光下閃燿,我站在窗前,留戀這一剎那間的情感,因為我恐怕這種驚悅新奇的感覺,很快就会被現實社会的競爭丶憂慮取代和麻木,在我腦海中消失和忘掉。

滑雪勝地:瑞士聖莫里茲 (相片) / Alpine Skiing in St Moritz, Switzerland (photos)

The photos I posted around March 28 2007 re "Glacier skiing on the VADRET DA MORTERATSCH" in St. Moritz, Switzerland are at the following:
http://lotusandcedar.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html