過渡時期 / Transition Period

(Transition = 從一個階段過渡到另一個階段)

Yesterday, I chaired for the last time the taskforce that I have been leading. People still couldn't believe I am leaving and those who heard the news for the first time were floored. I am not particularly sad to leave. Maybe my emotion hasn't erupted yet. Sure, I will miss many of my co-workers and the files (in that order), but my departure is of my own choice, something that I have planned for quite a while. December is going to be a busy month for me. There will be documents to shred, paper to throw out, and files to give away. My co-workers are organizing a farewell party for me at the beginning of next month. There will be office Christmas parties before people go on vacations and before I close up shop for good.

My routine in the months to come will change. So, instead of rushing to work in the morning, I might be enjoying a cup of tea, reading the morning newspaper, and contemplating the state of national and world affairs. There will be time to do exercise during non-rush hours. Already, I have started my cross-country and alpine skiing season last weekend, having bought myself a day pass to the park.

Transition is from one stage to another 從一個階段過渡到另一個階段. I will find my own way as the months unfold.

人生與事業 / Life and Career

我已正式向机構上層提出辭呈,在2008年初讓位於賢。很多朋友同事在电網上看了這個宣佈,都大為震驚,很多人說:『看您這么年青,為什么要辭退這份管理好職位?』加拿大西部的區首,從溫哥華來急电說:『我上星期和您在多倫多開会,您還未有談及退職,這事從何說起?』

在管理階層中,我發覺有很多事業心太重的人,他∕她們在不知不覺中,做了工作職務的奴隸,曾經有一段時期,我也是那樣子,一天24小時,睡眠5小時,其它就是忙這忙那,分身不暇。但自從波士M突然腦癌逝世,和秘書H車禍橫死之後, 我对人生與事業,就有一個很清楚的概念,就是不会把事業替代人生。

沒錯,每一個人都需要入息來支持生計,也要对社会有所貢獻,但我对入息需求不大,知足者常樂,而对社会貢獻,覺得除了做工外,亦可以有很多種形式,不一定要在公司僱員的關係下發展。所以我在未來歲月,不会隨便浪費金錢,更加不会浪費光陰,要把人生計劃實踐。

波士和秘書離去已有多年,但他∕她們年輕的面孔,卻永遠不会在我腦海中忘掉,我為這兩位同事,暗自不知流了多少眼淚,一方面是我对他∕她們一份隱藏的友情,未能完全表達,而另一方面,是感嘆人生過程的短暫和無常,我們大家都像在候机室中,留一会兒就要告別的旅途人,他∕她們已提早告別,而我自己這段新的人生旅途,卻還是剛剛開始。

(Photo taken by myself in Rome earlier this year)

初雪 / First Snow

昨晚在我睡夢中,冰冷的秋雨轉變為飄雪,今早醒來,往窗外一看,出面是白茫茫的一片。每年的初雪都給我帶來一個更生丶喜悅的感覺,就像新學生上第一課,手指觸摸那新的校服和書籍,或像孩提時隨父母搬入新屋,嗅到剛完成的裝修油漆氣味,或是在午夜街燈之下,接第一個初吻,大家相近短促的呼吸,軟軟的胸脯在一起一伏。初雪在陽光下閃燿,我站在窗前,留戀這一剎那間的情感,因為我恐怕這種驚悅新奇的感覺,很快就会被現實社会的競爭丶憂慮取代和麻木,在我腦海中消失和忘掉。

滑雪勝地:瑞士聖莫里茲 (相片) / Alpine Skiing in St Moritz, Switzerland (photos)

The photos I posted around March 28 2007 re "Glacier skiing on the VADRET DA MORTERATSCH" in St. Moritz, Switzerland are at the following:
http://lotusandcedar.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html

滑雪勝地:瑞士聖莫里茲 / Alpine Skiing in St Moritz, Switzerland

I just love skiing. Watching the video (posted by someone else on YouTube), I wish I could go back to the Alps this winter !!!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the ride :)

ps: Please also go see the photos I posted around March 28 2007 "Glacier Skiing on the VADRET DA MORTERATSCH"

願望歌 - Sung by the Lennon Sisters / May You Always - Larry Markes (lyrics) and Dick Charles (music)

這是我在人生挫折崎嶇路途上,常唱給自己聽的其中一首歌曲,雖然是上一年代的金曲,但細聽其歌詞歌意,亦不乏对今時今日的網友,在低潮逆境時,有加以鼔勵,不可放棄之作用,故在此貼上網誌,就算是大家分享的「加油」歌罷。



May You Always

(Lyrics and music by Larry Markes and Dick Charles)

May you always walk in sunshine,
Slumber warm when night winds blow;
May you always live with laughter,
For a smile becomes you so.

May good fortune find your doorway,
May the bluebird sing your song;
May no trouble travel your way,
May no worry stay too long.

May your heartaches be forgotten,
May no tears be spilled;
May old acquaintance be remembered,
And your cup of kindness filled.

And may you always be a dreamer,
May your wildest dream come true;
May you find someone to love,
As much as I love you.

May your heartaches be forgotten,
May no tears be spilled;
May old acquaintance be remembered,
And your cup of kindness filled.

And may you always be a dreamer,
May your wildest dream come true;
May you find someone to love,
As much as I love you.

References:
* Lennon Sisters singing "May You Always" on the Lawrence Welk Show / YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opm1zuEHZUU
* Photo credit: Wikipedia / The Lennon Sisters: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lennon_Sisters
* More Blog info about The Lennon Sisters: http://shirleygrrl.blogspot.com/

Lennon Sisters May you always

願望歌 - Sung by the Lennon Sisters / May You Always - Larry Markes (lyrics) and Dick Charles (music)
Please click the following link for lyrics and more info: http://lotusandcedar.blogspot.com/2007/11/sung-by-lennon-sisters-may-you-always.html

Source: YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opm1zuEHZUU

煩惱的由來 / Sources of Our Trouble

在人生旅程,挫折常有,看看自己和所識朋友之中,麻煩的主要原因,統概有二。

1. 如蠶作繭,自困其身
這些麻煩多是自己開始招來的,例如和有夫之婦或有婦之夫發生戀情,吃禁果是短期內非常興奮快感的事,但後果卻是長期痛苦日子的由來。另一個例子是死心不息,藕斷絲連,和一段注定沒有前途的愛情繼續糾纏,我不是提議情場戰友,把感情冰凍麻木,而是鼓勵未開始一段情之前,可要想想結果大約會是怎樣。如蠶作繭,有些是困死了自己,有些卻能破繭而出,重獲自由, 我想那就是情感(心)和理智(腦)的分別。

2. 甕中之鱉,釜中之魚
麻煩有很多是外來環境、人事因素做成,例如在工作上,給別人栽贓嫁禍,竊嫌有罪, 成了衆矢之的,代罪羔羊。另一個例子是親戚丶朋友丶同事丶同鄉丶祖宗丶祖家有難,而被殃及池魚,牽連入煩惱的旋渦,事小的是上法庭打官司,嚴重的是種族屠殺,捲入誅九族滅門之禍 (one of my friends is a Tutsis from Rwanda)。在這種情形,我相信一定要多用理智,小用情感,儘力來打出困境 (and hope for the best and justice when it's all over)。

非常明顯,我不是「宿命論」者,不相信我們一生前途,是在誕生之前,已受時辰丶八字丶星宿所支配定斷,反之,我是相信做人和做事都要儘力而為,或許我的自由鬥志未滅,仍滲有很濃厚的存在主义思想。

加拿大軍人 - 2007年和平紀念日: 一個軍人苦痛的回憶 / Canadian Armed Forces-Remembrance Day 2007: The Final Flight of 626 - Hank's Quest

Dedicated to Airman Hank and all Veterans

Your quick glance peers through

My material world in slices

Quietens all my sensory and perceptions

Contradicts upbringing and conventions

With focus on your painful glance

I reflect upon my relevance

Through words and pictures I begin to understand

The quest and final flight of Veteran Hank.

Hank's Quest

Shot Down in Flame

Searing flames dance around the metal frame

Sandy, the crew - God they are in pain

But the scream of those who soon depart

Marks silently the journey that just starts !!

Sixty years I retrace my steps in vein

Buried from my family my living pain

To wrestle with the flames that danced

And put closure to this fate of chance

Years of war, peace and glory

Means so distant to me in Calgary

Crushed are the bones of my crewman friends

Burnt are the fleshes of Airman Hank

Death is near but I am spared

Hospital in England provides us with care

Guinea Pigs we are in kinship and spirit

Healed are our faces by tears from the visits

Guinea Pigs we called ourselves in jest

The years go by - we are counting less !!

The family they are grown up now

My face hides what still gnarls

The night of that fateful flight

Down from the falling sky

Quest for the crushing site

My hope faltering ...

Like a kite.Resolution at the Site
I breathe in the trees, the flowers and the beautiful field

My son's hand rests reassuringly still

How I wish I did not grow old

Just like Sandy, Charles

and Harold

Back to Calgary

Although I can feel death's stare

There is no need to be scared

My journey soon rejoins with Mary Rose

My heart, my ashes, body and soul

The bomb has left the crippled plane

The load that kept me years in pain

A chapter is closed in my heart

The Club has always been a part

The country enlists all her sons

The Good Lord calls us one-by-one

There is no need to take and pick

On the Final Flight of 626

Epilogue

In October 2005, I was greatly moved after listening to the CBC broadcast about a true World War II story "The Final Flight of 626". This poem is dedicated to Veteran Hank who witnessed the death of his fellow crew members Sandy, Charles, and Harold, as the plan was going down. He ended up in the burn unit of a hospital in England where he met others like him. They called the hospital the Club and themselves the guinea pigs.

After the war, he married to Mary Rose and started his family. But the memory of that fateful flight always haunted him. Sixty years later, after the death of his wife, he decided to go back to England and to locate the crash site where his friends had died. With local help, he retraced the flight path and was able to found the spot where the plane fell out of the sky. With his son besides him, he could almost see his young self, laughing and joking with Sandy, Charles and Harold - except only one of them had grown old. Upon returning to his home in Calgary, he found peace in himself, had closure on this chapter of his life, and looked forward to joining his wife on the Final Flight of 626.

Photo credits:

* Avro Lancaster bomber: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avro_Lancaster

* Canadian pilots: http://www.spitcrazy.com/RCAF%20Postcards.htm

* Women of the War Years: http://www.airmuseum.ca/wowy02.html

Other references:

* Info on airplanes: http://www.airmuseum.ca/

* Info on the Avro Lancaster: http://www.aviation-history.com/avro/683.html

* World War II Poems from Kathleen Lowe Oliver, Battle of Britain, R.A.F.: http://www.freewebs.com/ww2poems/

* Taiwan's "228 和平紀念日" is different, according to this website: http://www.yzu.edu.tw/E_news/250/information/1.htm

李安電影: 【色丶戒】看後感想 / Ang Lee's Movie: Reflection on “Lust, Caution”

十一月三日晚看完李安的電影【色丶戒】"Lust, Caution"之後,在離開戲院時,心中實在有一種悵然之感。這映畫戲的故事是描述第二次大戰,日本倭冦侵華之時,一對愛恨男女之間的七情六慾丶权力性交丶和金錢政治的衝突。

男主角是個「漢奸」,是為日本偽滿州國大東亞共存共榮效力而從中取利的「走狗」,但李安沒有將這個角色,像七十年代李小龍的愛國功夫片集一樣,特意將這人加以小丑(醜)化。反之,這男人是個頗聰明,又愛財、愛权、和愛色的政治商人。他初次以暴力佔領女主角身体的時候,是当代男人以性慾發洩权力的表現,出發點是純粹滿足個人自私的生理和心理需要,但在這無意義,但有高潮的肉体交換中,他卻不慎動了真情。

女主角初時是個不經世道的女學生,对現實有點茫然,对人生和電影戲劇界限分別,不什分得清楚,故此当一羣天真的熱血愛國青年,邀請她做行刺計劃的「餌」,以色相誘惑那男人的時候,她感到一陣莫名的興奮,不特願意奉獻初夜給一個男學生,而且還化妝劃眉,實習控制男人的床上功夫。在這色誘的期間,這年輕的女學生是又愛又恨地扮演兩個不同的角色:媚惑的殺手情婦(femme fatale),和一個動了真情的女孩子。

到了最後,当七情六慾丶权力性交丶和金錢政治發生嚴重的正面衝突之時,他和她都要作一個快擇取捨。

那男人的决定是比較明顯,女孩子是刺殺間諜,是犧牲品,他雖然曾經動情,愛過她,但在形勢丶前程丶妻子、和財物相比下,他和她只是在那一剎那間,時丶空丶和愛情偶然混合的副產品,但当時空現實回復「正常」的時候,他還是要下令鎗决她和她的年青夥伴。在吊鐘敲出行刑時間前的數分鐘,他獨自一人,在黑暗中坐在他和她曾經做愛的床上,為這一段愛情故事流下了一滴熱眼淚。

女主角到了最後還是决定返回現實,作為一個動了真情的女孩子,吐露了全盤刺殺計劃,出賣了國家和同學,給「漢奸」一個逃生的机会。撇開政治不談,這個選擇在人生旅程,男女愛情方面,是「对」還是「錯」,我相她在臨死閉眼前也不能真正給自己一個明确的解答。在我來說,我悵然的原因,是她在臨被鎗斃前,仍不知道他是有心郎還是無心漢。在一顆明耀的鑽石介指,和一滴在黑暗中閃爍的眼淚之間,我相信她是会選擇後者。

一江醉, 一夜春 / Poems: Waiting for My Lover

一江醉 / 一夜春

人遠去 , 我獨留
未忘情 , 不了愁
秋風紅了葉 , 春露珠胎結
江海自飄零 , 兩岸共綢繆
任憑半杯 , 盼望圓月
醉澆一襟愁 , 瀉銀千里會
卻道思憶成流 , 但願蟬蜎長久

話說当年,某少女在香港懷了孕,來北美找她的男友,但美國關口看她情形,不准她入境,於是乎她影隻形單,孤清清一個人在溫哥華租了間柏文等候,一大兩細的身影在窗前徘徊,盼望郎君從美國傳來佳訊,真是非常淒涼! 我去探她的時候,因工在身,不能久留,只能給她精神鼓勵,和替她買些基本的日用品,留下緊急電話号碼。後來她男友終於在羅省辦妥手續,接了她落美國結婚。本來此事我已忘記了大半,但看了「Xiao Zhu」的 “一江醉”後,往事又浮現在腦海眼前,所以有感而發,寫了如上的“一夜春”。

Xiao Zhu原稿:
"一江醉（回 Shek）"
人遠去
未忘情
秋風紅了葉
江海自飄零
任憑半杯
醉澆一襟愁
卻道思憶成流

（二零零七.十一.一）
posted by xiao zhu at 9:59 PM on Nov 4, 2007

吃得苦中苦,方為人上人 / Alone as a Foreign Student

記得初來楓葉國,除了不習慣西方言語和風俗之外,寂寞丶思鄉丶情緒丶愛情和其它因素,都对身心健康有很大的影響,現在事隔多年,有如下的回想感受:
(1) 我們是走江湖的,不是猛龍不過江啊!!
(2) 失敗成功,都是全靠自己,再不能倚靠父母家庭。
(3) 成長過程加速,不特訓練自己之獨立能力,眼光角度也廣闊了很多。
(4) 吃得苦中苦,方為人上人。

No regrets !!

微豆
(加拿大)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

记得初来枫叶国,除了不习惯西方言语和风俗之外,寂寞丶思乡丶情绪丶爱情和其它因素,都对身心健康有很大的影响,现在事隔多年,有如下的回想感受:

(1) 我们是走江湖的,不是猛龙不过江啊!!
(2) 失败成功,都是全靠自己,再不能倚靠父母家庭。
(3) 成长过程加速,不特训练自己之独立能力,眼光角度也广阔了很多。
(4) 吃得苦中苦,方为人上人。

No regrets !!

微豆
(加拿大)

(Above message was posted in simplified Chinese at: 一个人在国外
http://www.douban.com/group/topic/2145109/ )

釣魚攝影图片 / Some Fishing Photos

While I enjoy fishing, I do not have a large collection of fish pictures. In fact, I seldom bring my camera on fishing trips for two reasons:
* I don't want to get it wet
* A camera is added weight when I portage a canoe and camping gears through the woods

Anyway, here are some pictures of my favorite fresh-water game fish I used to catch in northern parts of Alberta, Manitoba and Saskatchewan, as well as other lakes and rivers of Canada and USA.

Photos: Pickerel, rainbow trout, northern pike catching frog, people catching northern pike, northern pike lurking under water
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_pike
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chain_pickerel
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trout
http://www.dnr.cornell.edu/ext/fish/nyfish/fish.html

And, here is my favoruite song when I go fishing.

Summertime sung by three singers:
- 艾拉•費茲潔拉 和 路易斯•阿姆斯特朗 Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong's Summertime
- Janis Joplin - Summertime (Live Gröna Lund 1969)

福特銀河系500類型大房車 (下) / Ford Galaxie 500 Full-size 4-door Sedan (Part 3 of 3)

So now you understand why every time I see a big blue sedan, my heart will go into high gear and my sweaty palm will instinctively reach for my driver license. Despite the strange experience and the lingering memory of that summer in Grande Prairie and the Peace River Region, I must say the Galaxie 500 was one heck of a nice American classic made in the days when gas was cheap, cars were big, summer was hot, and fish were jumping.

Oh, did I tell you I had to pay three dollars to the big Indian fellow who guarded the stream that ran through the native reserve near High River. Well, there are lots of fish in them lakes and rivers up north, but I will have to tell you my fishing stories some other time.

Photo: Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Galaxie