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(cont'd from Part 1: http://lotusandcedar.blogspot.com/2010/07/exchanges-between-bloggers-part-13.html)
Part 2: No Way to Old Way: Circumstances Appropriate Responses (CAR)
In order to function efficiently, our evolved primate brains (apology to the life-by-design groups) need to establish reference points based on information and experience gathered as we chug along our life journeys. Let's face it, settlers and immigrants need to adjust and change if they are to survive and function well in the new environment/country. For example: I am no longer the young adult who bid farewell to friends and relatives at the airport many moons ago. It is therefore quite normal and understandable that with these new reference points, ex-Hong Kongers would say "no way" to the "old" way of evaluating the merit of an argument based on the speaker's 年歲丶輩份,丶面子丶性別丶國籍 (種族 if your spouse is a "foreigner" 聚或嫁了洋鬼子老公/老婆).
Again, when I find myself on the receiving end of being examined thru these lenses, I would keep my cool and refrain from having knee-jerk reactions. If I am dealing with someone with deeply ingrained "traditional" values (relative to mine), I usually keep quiet and don't bother. However, if the individual is open to suggestions, I would explain my point of view, but without imposing my own values, or watering down my basic principles. The degree and nature of engagement will depend very much on the situation at the time, and that's why I call it (jargon alert!!): Circumstances Appropriate Responses (CAR).
(to be cont'd --> Please stay tuned for Part 3/3)
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4 comments:
Pretty much agree with what you're saying here. It's the reason that a lot of times I just keep quiet. Life's too short to trying to change people.
And hey, I hope you could see from my blogpost as well as my comments that I don't mind jargons, AS LONG AS people who bandy them about actually use them to support an argument. Not just putting them out there as something to be admired by themselves :P
(cont'd from Part 1)
>> ... Life's too short to trying to change people.
Worse still, some ppl are looking for fights !!
>> ... I don't mind jargons, AS LONG AS ...
Your point is well taken !!
"Worse still, some ppl are looking for fights !!"
Is that really worse? Would my post be considered as a fight-picking post? Hmmmm....
If someone has a legitimate objection or difference of opinions, why can't they air them? If someone feels that others are talking out of their a*se, why can't they correct them?
I tend to be silent when the blogger is beyond persuasion, as you said in your own post. But I welcome when others object, precisely because I don't want myself to become one of those people who see anyone commenting as picking a fight rather than just simply asserting their opinion and raising questions. That's why I heartily agree with this statement:
"當然，如果你對真理抱有同樣的渴望、執着和追求時，你會對於蘇格拉底的辯證法，以及相關的反覆詰問，陶醉其中，否則的話，你只會視之為一種奚落，每次詰問，都像一記無情的耳光，讓你顏面何存。"
p.s. Oh I did mean to correct my first comment after noticing my typo ("life's too short to try to change others", not TRYING, arrgh!), but unfortunately I was short of time to correct it! So unlike the use of bad language, this is one of the instances when I would have liked to NOT be quoted the next day :SSS
Snowdrops:
>> .... Would my post be considered as a fight-picking post? Hmmmm....
Definitely not :)
>> .... If someone has a legitimate objection or difference of opinions, why can't they air them? If someone feels that others are talking out of their a*se, why can't they correct them?
I only wish every blogger is just as civilized. While most will exchange opinions nicely, there are the odds ones that would resort to 人肉搜索 type of bullying behaviors when they don't get their way. That's what I mean by "picking a (bar) fight".
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