(cont'd from Part 1: http://lotusandcedar.blogspot.com/2010/07/exchanges-between-bloggers-part-13.html)
Part 2: No Way to Old Way: Circumstances Appropriate Responses (CAR)
In order to function efficiently, our evolved primate brains (apology to the life-by-design groups) need to establish reference points based on information and experience gathered as we chug along our life journeys. Let's face it, settlers and immigrants need to adjust and change if they are to survive and function well in the new environment/country. For example: I am no longer the young adult who bid farewell to friends and relatives at the airport many moons ago. It is therefore quite normal and understandable that with these new reference points, ex-Hong Kongers would say "no way" to the "old" way of evaluating the merit of an argument based on the speaker's 年歲丶輩份,丶面子丶性別丶國籍 (種族 if your spouse is a "foreigner" 聚或嫁了洋鬼子老公/老婆).
Again, when I find myself on the receiving end of being examined thru these lenses, I would keep my cool and refrain from having knee-jerk reactions. If I am dealing with someone with deeply ingrained "traditional" values (relative to mine), I usually keep quiet and don't bother. However, if the individual is open to suggestions, I would explain my point of view, but without imposing my own values, or watering down my basic principles. The degree and nature of engagement will depend very much on the situation at the time, and that's why I call it (jargon alert!!): Circumstances Appropriate Responses (CAR).
(to be cont'd --> Please stay tuned for Part 3/3)