Saturday, May 30, 2009
「兩週一聚 (第十五期): 五年之後 ...」之【八卦文章】/ 「2weeks1gather (#15): Five Years Later ...」【The Five-year Commitments of Jon & Kate Plus 8】
I was among the 10 million TV viewers who watched last Monday the seasonal premier of "Jon & Kate Plus 8", a reality show that follows the life of an American couple plus their eight young children. I am not here to speculate whether Jon has an alleged affair with a teacher, or Kate their bodyguard, but rather to examine the issue of keeping long-term commitments.
Five years after the sextuplets were born, the couple appears to be less committed to their relationship, even though they had a renewal of marriage vow in Hawaii not that long ago. So, what has happened to "Till death do us part"? Does every couple just go through the motion during a marriage ceremony? Why make a commitment when we don't actually mean it?
In my opinion, people's lack of commitment happens in everyday life. How often do we find people making a "commitment" and then trying to back out of it later? "Sorry, I couldn't make it because I was busy, I ran out of time, I was misled, I ...." You know what I mean because we have done it ourselves.
So, instead of making unfulfilled promises, we should be realistic and face the fact that most of us will continue to make "soft commitments", the fulfillment of which is subject to future changes in circumstances, including time, places, people, resources, wimps, impulses, etc. On the other hand, "hard commitments" do exist, although they are rare and far in between. The instinct of a mother bear to protect her cub is a good example (of course, I would expect some readers to challenge me with the "nature vs nurture" argument).
Thus in closing, I would venture to say that nine out of ten commitments are "soft" and that people make unfilled promises not because they intend to lie, but because they have no concept of hard vs soft commitments.
My other blog articles related to Jon & Kate plus 8:
* Jon and Kate plus 8: 十年的婚姻 / Jon & Kate Plus 8: Ten Years of Marriage http://lotusandcedar.blogspot.com/2009/06/jon-and-kate-plus-8-jon-kate-plus-8-ten.html
* 再談男女關係之間的許諾 / More Thoughts on Commitments in a Man-Woman Relationship http://lotusandcedar.blogspot.com/2009/05/more-thoughts-on-commitments-in-man.html
For other articles with the same theme "Five Years Later ....", please visit the "2weeks1gather" website:
"Jon & Kate plus 8" Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_And_Kate_Plus_8
Photo Credit 攝影图片: 美國 TLC 電視臺