Monday, July 13, 2009

兩週一聚 (十八期) 「笑話一則」之【海關申報】 / 2weeks1gather (#18): 「Just for Laughs」【Customs Declaration 】


I was returning from a business trip abroad and was going through the Canadian Customs at an airport. It was late at night and I was tired.

Officer: "How long have you been away?"
Me: "Oh, about four weeks."
Officer: "Do you have anything to declare? Cigarettes? Alcohols?"
Me: "No. Just odds and ends souvenirs."
Officer (eyeing the box I am carrying): "What's in that box?"
Me (getting anxious): "Which? Oh, this one? It's my pair of push-up bars!" (putting both hands on my chest and doing push-up exercise motions)
Officer (grinning): "Oh, is it for your own PERSONAL use?"
Me (sweating now, why is he so interested): "Yes, I use it all the time. It makes my chest big."
Officer: "Yes, my wife has a pair too."

To make a story short: He broke out laughing when I opened the box. By then, my face was beet-red.

攝影圖片Photo Credit: Wikipedia (free push-up lesson if you know who she is)


(Update) Just in case the joke goes over some people's heads, here are some explanations:

What I was talking about ....

What he thought I was talking about ... (and his wife had a pair)


Related Links:
* 「每週一聚 2weeks1gather」第十八期的題目由網友Zero出 : 寫「笑話一則」! 請往 處報名和參閱其它文章。


新鮮人 said...


Anonymous said...

Hari big brother,
"Beet" a root vegetable what is the chinese name? do you know that?
what is the look of the push up bars you were using? can you post a poto too?


Haricot 微豆 said...

新鮮人: 泰山同阿珍都想有36吋!!

Haricot 微豆 said...


網上字典 Beet: 【植物;植物學】菾菜,甜菜; 〔pl.〕 〔美國〕亞麻捆 (= beetroot).


Anonymous said...

hari big brother, 菾菜 or 甜菜, doesnt sound familiar I dont think we have that in HK

hahahaha was that the punchline? hari big brother
your given links were exercise use push up BARS and the wonder push up BRAS.


michelle said...

hahaha Haricot, is it a true story? :D no i don't believe you pronounce bars as bras :DD

readandeat said...


Kempton said...

Ha ha, very funny.

After reading your story, I wrote this not too funny one for you Haricot.


Some men go to bars to get in bras.
Some women go to bars to get out of bras.

Haricot 微豆 said...


You've got it, Pontiac!!! That's the punch line (bars and bras)!!

Haricot 微豆 said...


It is a true story!!

Customs officers are usually stone-faced. But the one I encountered was human. It was after he had made the remark abt his wife's pair that it dawned on me why he was grinning.

Hey, I learnt the Queen's English, so it was not my pronunciation, obviously (said I with my nose up in the air).

Haricot 微豆 said...


Embarrassingly funny !!

Haricot 微豆 said...

Kempton: Here is one back to you ...

Bar Scene:

Man in bar, looking for bras, a smutty look on his face

Woman in Jaguar, walking into bar, long legs in sheer thin lace

Oh my bro, she's a cougar, her money will seal my fate

I say ta-ta, you big spender, your bod's not my taste

Haricot 微豆 said...


說文解字 - 美加俚語:

* bra = brassière
* bro = brother
* cougar = an older woman who sexually pursues men at least eight years her junior (
* ta-ta = thank you (when talking to young children)
* bod = body

chilli mom said...

"Yes, I use it all the time. It makes my chest big."

hahaha !

Anonymous said...

》》You've got it, Pontiac!!!

why Pontiac comes into our discussion ? was it
a 美加俚語 slang ?


mad dog said...

oh man, i think he was simply bored w/ his job...

Haricot 微豆 said...

Chilli Mom: You want to see my 6-pack abs too ??!!

Haricot 微豆 said...


"You've got it, Pontiac!" was a popular catch-phrase people used. At first, it meant "well equipped, good car, ...". Later, the phrase also implied "You've got it right!".

Related Link: Calgary Herald

Haricot 微豆 said...

Mad Dog: Yes, it's possible ...

Haricot 微豆 said...

BTW, it's Jayne Mansfield 珍曼絲妃 in the photo.

Zero said...

push up bra.......haha
I need a moment to understand that too....a good one!

Haricot 微豆 said...

Zero: Same caution is needed when you ask a store clerk for Wonder Bar !!!

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